Understanding grief and loss 

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can feel overwhelming, confusing or lonely, especially when the loss is linked to military service or life after service. 

Veterans and families of veterans may experience grief in many ways. It may follow the death of someone close to you, or a loss linked to service, health, relationships, routine, independence or sense of purpose. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 

How grief can affect veterans and families of veterans 

Grief may affect your emotions, body, thoughts and relationships. You may notice: 

• feeling sad, numb, angry or guilty 
• changes in sleep, appetite or energy 
• finding it hard to concentrate or make decisions 
• withdrawing from others or feeling alone 
• strong reactions to reminders, anniversaries or unexpected moments 

For some veterans and families of veterans, grief can also be shaped by trauma or long-term stress. This can make grief feel more intense or return long after the loss. 

Types of loss that can lead to grief 

Grief is not only about death. You may also grieve: 

• the end of a military career, whether planned or unplanned 
• changes to your physical or mental health 
• changes in family roles or relationships 
• loss of connection with service mates or community 
• missed opportunities, changed expectations or loss of purpose 

These losses are real, even if other people do not always see or understand them. 

Signs you may need extra support 

Grief takes time, but extra support may help if things are not getting easier or are starting to feel harder. You may want to reach out if you: 

• feel stuck, overwhelmed or unable to cope day to day 
• are using alcohol or other substances to manage feelings 
• feel disconnected from yourself or others 
• have thoughts of not wanting to be here or of harming yourself 

Asking for help is a way to look after yourself. 

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, call 000. 

Ways to get support for grief and loss 

Support may include: 

• talking with someone you trust 
• using counselling that understands military and family life 
• connecting with peer support 
• getting practical help as well as emotional support 

Veterans and families of veterans can access free, confidential counselling and wellbeing support from people who understand military life. Help is available whether your service was recent or many years ago, and whether your grief feels new or long-standing. 

Veteran services for grief and loss support 

Veteran-specific services can help with grief and loss in different ways. The right support will depend on your needs and what you are going through. 

• Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling provides free and confidential mental health and wellbeing support including counselling, care coordination, peer support, group programs and digital health initiatives for veterans and the families of veterans.
• Veterans’ and Families’ Hubs for local connection, wellbeing support and help finding services in your area 
• Ex-service organisations for advocacy, practical help, social connection and support during times of change 
• Chaplaincy for emotional, social and spiritual support during grief, loss and major life changes 

You can reach out early, during a difficult time, or long after a loss. Different types of support may help at different times. 

General grief and loss services outside the veteran sector 

General grief and loss services can also help. You can use them alongside veteran-specific support or on their own, depending on what feels most helpful. 

• Griefline for grief and loss support, a helpline, online forums and information 
• Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement for counselling, support and information 
• StandBy for support after suicide loss 
• Red Nose for support after miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of a baby or child 
• Lifeline for crisis support if grief is linked with severe distress or thoughts of self-harm 

You do not need to choose just one type of support. Some people use veteran-specific and general services at the same time.