Transition affects the whole family, not just the person leaving the ADF. Partners, children, carers and other loved ones can all be affected.
Family life can change in many ways during transition. Routines, roles, finances, communication and future plans may all shift. Paying attention to relationships during this time can help your family feel more stable and supported.
Checklist
The printable ‘Families in Transition’ checklist can help your family plan next steps, keep track of tasks, and decide what support to follow up during transition.
Use the checklist in the way that works best for your family.
- Start with one or two items that feel most important right now.
- Work through the checklists together if that feels helpful.
- Come back to the lists as your family’s needs change.
- Use the page sections below to find more information about each topic.
How transition can affect families
Families may notice changes in routines, communication, confidence, mood or energy. Some people feel closer during transition. Others feel pressure, uncertainty or fatigue as everyone adjusts in different ways. These responses are common.
You may have practical questions during this time, such as:
- Will my child need to change schools if we move after a parent leaves the ADF?
- What help might we need at home if someone in our family is separating for medical reasons?
- Will changes to work hours affect our childcare subsidy?
- How can we stay connected with friends, local services and community activities if Defence is no longer part of daily life?
These questions are normal. Talking about them early and making plans together can help your family feel more prepared.
You may find it helpful to read about changing schools, home care and aged care services, childcare support, and ways to stay connected with community and peer support.
Parenting through transition
Children may respond to transition in different ways depending on their age, personality and what else is changing around them.
A big life change can be confusing for children. It may help to:
- keep routines where you can
- let the school know what is happening
- ask if a Defence School Mentor or similar support person can help for a while
If your family is moving or settling into a new area, the new community checklist can help you work through practical next steps.
The sport and activities page for children may also help your child stay active, build confidence and feel part of a community during change.
Strengthening relationships during change
Small, honest conversations can help. Talk about what is changing, what feels hard, and what support might help right now.
Not every conversation needs to solve a problem. Sometimes being heard is a helpful first step.
You can find relationship and family wellbeing support through Open Arms, chaplaincy services, Veterans’ and Families’ Hubs, and community services in the Self-Service Navigation Catalogue.
Looking after each other
Looking after each other can include small practical actions, such as:
- sharing school drop-off
- helping with meals
- updating important services with your new address after a move
Small actions can make change feel more manageable.
If caring responsibilities are increasing, the carer burnout support page offers practical guidance on recognising pressure early and finding support.
Veterans’ and Families’ Hubs can help families connect with local services, support options and community activities. You can learn more about what hubs offer on the Veteran and Family Hubs information page.
You do not need to wait until relationships are under pressure to seek support. Reaching out early can help families stay connected and manage change with more understanding and care.
Need support now?
Support is available if your family needs help during transition. You can contact family wellbeing and counselling services, local community supports, or domestic and family violence services. You do not need to wait for a crisis to ask for help.
Domestic and family violence support
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or family violence, confidential help and information are available.
Read the domestic and family violence support information page for confidential help, safety information and support options.
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